It's Women's Month In South Africa, and we even have a Public Holiday in recognition of Women's Day. Every year, we make the necessary public fuss, but while I read a lot about celebrating women and empowering them, I don't see it happen. If anything, all I see is the disenfranchising women behaviour. An example is one of the leading news stories in the country during Women's Month was Zwelinzima Vavi, the General Secretary of COSATU, being suspended from office for acts that were sexually scandalous at work. When will this stop?
While we look to laud and praise women and make them heroes, who then is the villain? Men have their own issues, and they are being swept under the carpet while we try to address the "sense of being of a woman". What about addressing the masculinity of being a man? Why do we not talk about men the same way we focus on women?
Men battle with judging themselves as being real men based on varying standards. While these standards or measures are inconsistent, they do not seem to serve anyone. With the masculinity factor no longer being measured by the "Fireman Bob" look, it is probably now more a factor of men's success or power at work. Is that now the new definition of a man's worth? Your status at your place of work!
Femininity seems to be something that happens with time, as a girl matures into being a woman. In some cultures though, men need a rite of passage, to transform from being a boy to a man. Being a man is something that seems to have to be earned, not just once, but time and time again. News stories about the butchery and fatal actions that take place with initiations, where boys now seem to go to the mountain to meet their death, are endless.
What is that compelling image of what it is to be a real man today? Is this why men are obsessed with status at work? "Am I more senior than you?" "Do I earn more than you?" Men are sacrificing a whole lot to devote themselves to doing what they perceive to be "doing what a real man should be doing". The problem is I don't think that men have a clue what it is to be a real man.
Addressing the issues around women in terms of empowerment and recognition, allowing for equal opportunities, cannot be done in isolation. Without addressing the drivers of what is perceived to be manhood, we will not make progress. I am not in any way suggesting a gender war, or denying there is a problem with how women are disadvantaged in achieving the opportunities defined as those achieved by "successful men".
Take away the sensational headline to this post, and the message is simply that while women are being advised to "Lean In" by Sheryl Sandberg, we will not progress as the human race if men don't get what it is to be a real man. Instead men will also continue to lean in, and one can only guess it will be leaning in to resist women leaning in, rather than support women leaning in.
While we look to laud and praise women and make them heroes, who then is the villain? Men have their own issues, and they are being swept under the carpet while we try to address the "sense of being of a woman". What about addressing the masculinity of being a man? Why do we not talk about men the same way we focus on women?
Men battle with judging themselves as being real men based on varying standards. While these standards or measures are inconsistent, they do not seem to serve anyone. With the masculinity factor no longer being measured by the "Fireman Bob" look, it is probably now more a factor of men's success or power at work. Is that now the new definition of a man's worth? Your status at your place of work!
Femininity seems to be something that happens with time, as a girl matures into being a woman. In some cultures though, men need a rite of passage, to transform from being a boy to a man. Being a man is something that seems to have to be earned, not just once, but time and time again. News stories about the butchery and fatal actions that take place with initiations, where boys now seem to go to the mountain to meet their death, are endless.
What is that compelling image of what it is to be a real man today? Is this why men are obsessed with status at work? "Am I more senior than you?" "Do I earn more than you?" Men are sacrificing a whole lot to devote themselves to doing what they perceive to be "doing what a real man should be doing". The problem is I don't think that men have a clue what it is to be a real man.
Addressing the issues around women in terms of empowerment and recognition, allowing for equal opportunities, cannot be done in isolation. Without addressing the drivers of what is perceived to be manhood, we will not make progress. I am not in any way suggesting a gender war, or denying there is a problem with how women are disadvantaged in achieving the opportunities defined as those achieved by "successful men".
Take away the sensational headline to this post, and the message is simply that while women are being advised to "Lean In" by Sheryl Sandberg, we will not progress as the human race if men don't get what it is to be a real man. Instead men will also continue to lean in, and one can only guess it will be leaning in to resist women leaning in, rather than support women leaning in.
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